I am the mother of three teenagers, with a fourth one closing in. I have also been working with, and teaching teens for over eighteen years now. It never ceases to amaze me how all things change, except “teenage thinking.” (Though technically, the term is an “oxy-moron.”) All kids enter their teenage years with the same thought… “My childhood is behind me, adulthood is within my reach, I know it all and NOTHING can stop me now!” Evidence of this “teenage thinking” is in the Word of God. 2 Samuel 13 is a very sad story of how people “think” they can handle anything. They always underestimate the powers of this world. Amnon is a perfect example of this.
I. The power of the flesh. (II Sam. 13:1-2)
Amnon thought he was invincible, and old enough to handle whatever came his way. (Heads up parents, there are full grown adults, over 30 who cannot handle some of the situations that life throws at them.) Like any young person, he battled with self-control. He may very well have longed to be Spirit-controlled, but on this day he was not. The Bible says he “fell sick for his sister.” We know he battled because it also says he “thought it hard for him to do anything to her.” One would hope that if your son or daughter found themselves in such a state that they would seek “wise” counsel. Such was NOT the case with Amnon (nor most teens.)
II. The persuasion of the friend. (vv. 3-5)
Jonadab was subtle. He said wise things like, “God wants all his children to be happy.” Or “you deserve to be happy.” Or even better, “it’s just this once.” The next thing we know, Amnon has raped his sister. Over these past 18 years, I can’t even tell you how many teens have been led away by a “friend.” Sometimes, it is the teen’s fault but a lot of times the situations could have been avoided had they been properly monitored by their parents. Parents fail to find out where their teen is, and WHOM they are with. Knowing your children’s friends is not enough. You need to know that teenager's parents too. If they are not “like-believing” then your teenager’s time with them should either be limited or monitored, and maybe even discontinued should their influence be more worldly, than godly. If the parents do not believe the same, then your child may very well learn things that you never intended them to learn. Teenage years are FULL of life-changing choices, and vulnerability. Even though teenagers claim they know everything,… they don’t! And when they need advice, they may not ask you, they might ask their friend, or their friend’s parents.
III. The penalty that follows.
Amnon had NO WAY of knowing where this choice would take him or how it would affect others in his life. He has marred his sister and now his brother is angry. This one CHOICE caused Amnon to lose his own life. Young people have a tendency to be very near-sighted. Everything around them looks fun, and exciting. If you are a parent who sets boundaries, then everything looks even more inviting to your child. You have probably heard, or will hear, “everyone else is going, or doing it, or wearing it, Etc…” Teens seldom consider the effect that a last minute decision will have on their future. (Well, did you?) That is why they need good, Godly leadership. They need godly parents who will keep them faithful in a KJV 1611 Bible, preaching church, with a hell-fire and damnation pastor, and God-honoring teachers. (Hint: you want your kids to have the kind of teachers that would protect your child, like you would, when you are not around. The kind that is not afraid to say, “no”, no matter who you are.) Godly music matters too. Please do not try to tell me that music was never a part of your teen years. PLEASE! If you start them out with the right kind, it is a little easier, I’ll admit, but if you didn’t, then start now. Music does affect your child’s soul and attitude. Most parents (including Christian ones) think “not my kid” and say things like, “My kid would never…..” Listen, there is not a teenager alive that cannot do wrong. Nor is there one that will not make a wrong choice once in a while. And they ALL lie! (eyes rolling here) Parents who believe their kid will not lie make working with teens even harder (especially the Christian ones.)
IV. The pain that affects the family.
When we reach the end of 2 Samuel 13, there is soooo much turmoil. We see a soiled daughter, which causes separated brothers, that leads to a son’s death, and ends with the sadness of parents.
If I could get just ONE thing through to teenagers it would be this. “NOTHING YOU DO AFFECTS JUST YOU!” In all fairness to teenagers, there are soooooo many adults that think they can just do and say whatever they want. They trample the grace of God and test his mercy right in front of their own kids. So it is not a wonder to me when a teenager thinks they can do the exact same thing. The polluted mind thinks, “Hey! I am saved, so I am safe.” WRONG! While we do serve an awesome God, who died for our sins, and loves us beyond measure, and keeps us saved,…. He is still a jealous God. He does NOT like it when we put anything else before him. If you want your kids to do right, then as the parent, YOU have to do right, FIRST, and in front of them. Don’t you just know that David was wishing he could take back all that happened in 2 Samuel 11 & 12? Any good father would have. Don't you believe that had David known how his choices were going to affect ALL his children, that he would have reconsidered them? I would hope so.
Now, I am preaching to myself here too. I am not done raising children. I still have seven years before my “baby” will be twenty. But that time will fly! I am sure that I will make mistakes, as a parent. I am sure they will make some mistakes as teens. How could they not? They are 50% their dad and 50% their mom, neither of which are perfect, they are BOUND to mess up! I have told them that I will give them every opportunity, that I can, to do right. But I promise you this…. If they decide to purposely do wrong, they will have to trample over the Word of God, knock down their praying mother, push aside their godly grandparents and walk over a pretty tough great-grandmother to do it. Not to mention the numerous, godly men and women that they have been privileged to meet along our life’s journey. These are people who I KNOW pray for them every day, and not just that, but LIVE IT in front of my children. The fight is on Christian parent. The devil wants your teen so that he can sift them like wheat. To quote a great song, “Gird your armor on, and polish up that sword! If there ever was a time to fight, it’s now!”
