TEENAGE THINKING

I am the mother of three teenagers, with a fourth one closing in. I have also been working with, and teaching teens for over eighteen years now. It never ceases to amaze me how all things change, except “teenage thinking.” (Though technically, the term is an “oxy-moron.”) All kids enter their teenage years with the same thought… “My childhood is behind me, adulthood is within my reach, I know it all and NOTHING can stop me now!” Evidence of this “teenage thinking” is in the Word of God. 2 Samuel 13 is a very sad story of how people “think” they can handle anything. They always underestimate the powers of this world. Amnon is a perfect example of this.

I. The power of the flesh. (II Sam. 13:1-2)

Amnon thought he was invincible, and old enough to handle whatever came his way. (Heads up parents, there are full grown adults, over 30 who cannot handle some of the situations that life throws at them.) Like any young person, he battled with self-control. He may very well have longed to be Spirit-controlled, but on this day he was not. The Bible says he “fell sick for his sister.” We know he battled because it also says he “thought it hard for him to do anything to her.” One would hope that if your son or daughter found themselves in such a state that they would seek “wise” counsel. Such was NOT the case with Amnon (nor most teens.)

II. The persuasion of the friend. (vv. 3-5)

Jonadab was subtle. He said wise things like, “God wants all his children to be happy.” Or “you deserve to be happy.” Or even better, “it’s just this once.” The next thing we know, Amnon has raped his sister. Over these past 18 years, I can’t even tell you how many teens have been led away by a “friend.” Sometimes, it is the teen’s fault but a lot of times the situations could have been avoided had they been properly monitored by their parents. Parents fail to find out where their teen is, and WHOM they are with. Knowing your children’s friends is not enough. You need to know that teenager's parents too. If they are not “like-believing” then your teenager’s time with them should either be limited or monitored, and maybe even discontinued should their influence be more worldly, than godly. If the parents do not believe the same, then your child may very well learn things that you never intended them to learn. Teenage years are FULL of life-changing choices, and vulnerability. Even though teenagers claim they know everything,… they don’t! And when they need advice, they may not ask you, they might ask their friend, or their friend’s parents.

III. The penalty that follows.

Amnon had NO WAY of knowing where this choice would take him or how it would affect others in his life. He has marred his sister and now his brother is angry. This one CHOICE caused Amnon to lose his own life. Young people have a tendency to be very near-sighted. Everything around them looks fun, and exciting. If you are a parent who sets boundaries, then everything looks even more inviting to your child. You have probably heard, or will hear, “everyone else is going, or doing it, or wearing it, Etc…” Teens seldom consider the effect that a last minute decision will have on their future. (Well, did you?) That is why they need good, Godly leadership. They need godly parents who will keep them faithful in a KJV 1611 Bible, preaching church, with a hell-fire and damnation pastor, and God-honoring teachers. (Hint: you want your kids to have the kind of teachers that would protect your child, like you would, when you are not around. The kind that is not afraid to say, “no”, no matter who you are.) Godly music matters too. Please do not try to tell me that music was never a part of your teen years. PLEASE! If you start them out with the right kind, it is a little easier, I’ll admit, but if you didn’t, then start now. Music does affect your child’s soul and attitude. Most parents (including Christian ones) think “not my kid” and say things like, “My kid would never…..” Listen, there is not a teenager alive that cannot do wrong. Nor is there one that will not make a wrong choice once in a while. And they ALL lie! (eyes rolling here) Parents who believe their kid will not lie make working with teens even harder (especially the Christian ones.)

IV. The pain that affects the family.

When we reach the end of 2 Samuel 13, there is soooo much turmoil. We see a soiled daughter, which causes separated brothers, that leads to a son’s death, and ends with the sadness of parents.

If I could get just ONE thing through to teenagers it would be this. “NOTHING YOU DO AFFECTS JUST YOU!” In all fairness to teenagers, there are soooooo many adults that think they can just do and say whatever they want. They trample the grace of God and test his mercy right in front of their own kids. So it is not a wonder to me when a teenager thinks they can do the exact same thing. The polluted mind thinks, “Hey! I am saved, so I am safe.” WRONG! While we do serve an awesome God, who died for our sins, and loves us beyond measure, and keeps us saved,…. He is still a jealous God. He does NOT like it when we put anything else before him. If you want your kids to do right, then as the parent, YOU have to do right, FIRST, and in front of them. Don’t you just know that David was wishing he could take back all that happened in 2 Samuel 11 & 12? Any good father would have. Don't you believe that had David known how his choices were going to affect ALL his children, that he would have reconsidered them? I would hope so.

Now, I am preaching to myself here too. I am not done raising children. I still have seven years before my “baby” will be twenty. But that time will fly! I am sure that I will make mistakes, as a parent. I am sure they will make some mistakes as teens. How could they not? They are 50% their dad and 50% their mom, neither of which are perfect, they are BOUND to mess up! I have told them that I will give them every opportunity, that I can, to do right. But I promise you this…. If they decide to purposely do wrong, they will have to trample over the Word of God, knock down their praying mother, push aside their godly grandparents and walk over a pretty tough great-grandmother to do it. Not to mention the numerous, godly men and women that they have been privileged to meet along our life’s journey. These are people who I KNOW pray for them every day, and not just that, but LIVE IT in front of my children. The fight is on Christian parent. The devil wants your teen so that he can sift them like wheat. To quote a great song, “Gird your armor on, and polish up that sword! If there ever was a time to fight, it’s now!”

Lent or Loaned?

I Samuel 1:27-28 “For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him: Therefore also I have lent him to the LORD; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the LORD.”

Most parents know little of what it is they do, when they stand before a church congregation and dedicate their children to the Lord. If they were to go back to Hannah’s day and live in accordance with what she meant when she uttered these words, they might actually think twice before doing it. Today’s dedication of children is more “ceremonial” like that of a Catholic baby baptism than it is an actual “dedication.” They want to stand in front of the church and show off their precious newborn infant, and have their picture taken as the pastor prays over their family, but most (I will not say all, …but most) have absolutely no idea what true dedication is. Dedication defined is, “The act of consecrating for a sacred use; giving wholly to; to set apart.” Let me define “consecrate” for you while I am here. Consecrate means, “To set apart, or devote to the service and worship of God.”

Giving back to God this precious life that he has allowed you to bring into the world, is a serious matter. (See Ecc. 5:4-5) And doing it before “these many witnesses” is important too. It is as serious as the marriage vow you take! (Maybe that is the reason they don’t get it. Most people today have no idea what a “vow” is either…. But I digress.) When Hannah made this vow (I Sam. 1:11) to God, she knew exactly what it meant. So much that she packed her precious baby boy up and sent him to live with the preacher! She knew that making a vow to the Lord was a serious matter! God had given her the child for which she had prayed and she had to keep her end of the bargain, and give him back! She says, “…as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the LORD.” So let me define “lent” for you. Lent means “to permit to use for another’s benefit.” Today’s parents want to “loan” but not “lend.” The difference is about who gets the interest, and the glory from it all. When you “loan” something, it is because you want something in return. Some sort of compensation, or condition is attached to the agreement or else you want what is yours back! That, my friend, is NOT “dedication or consecration.”

I am not the perfect parent, and my children are not fully grown, so I have many miles to go in this life, when it comes to raising children. They are not the perfect children either. How could they be? They have the same sinful nature that their parents were born with. I am sure that there are parents that could share their heartaches, and war-stories, that have been at this far longer than I, and I appreciate that fact. However, the point here, is that when you give your child to God, you have to LET God have him! Yes, it is going to be hard. Yes, the road is long. Yes, they do not always take the path that is right. Yes, you will have to punish them and even see God punish them. All that is true, but if you vowed before God Almighty, and a congregation of witnesses to give that child wholly to the Lord, for HIS honor and glory, then you better LET GO and LET GOD (to use a common phrase.) This does not mean that you walk along in silence and let your child say or do what they want. This does not mean that you have to let them “taste of the world” because of whatever stupid choices YOU made when you were their age! It means you follow God, while your child follows you. And you GUARD their steps (as well as your own) and REMOVE the obstacles, or stumbling blocks, whenever it is within your power to do it.

This past Sunday, my oldest son, Jon Groves, preached the Sunday morning message at our church. As he entered the pulpit, it dawned on me that this very day EXACTLY seventeen years ago, I brought him to church for the VERY FIRST time (he was 5 days old.) The thought overwhelmed me to tears. When I dedicated Jon to the Lord, I had no idea where I would be seventeen years later. Little did I know that day the many joys this child would bring me. Little did I know the heartaches, and disappointments that he would have to suffer on his own. Little did I know he would have three siblings soon to follow. Little did I know what God had in store for us. To God be the glory!

Though I like to reminisce of first words, first smiles, first steps, it is Jon’s spiritual growth that amazes me the most. God has allowed me to be present at almost every one. I was there when he quoted his first verse (Eph.6:1) and actually KNEW what it meant! I was there when he accepted Christ as his Saviour (age 4 1/2), and when he was baptized. I was there when he sang his first solo, played his first offertory, and played for the congregational singing too! I was there (at McDonald’s play-land, age 7) when he led his first soul to Christ. I was there when he surrendered to preach, and when he preached his first message. There are even some evangelists out there that have taken Jon's outlines from his blog and preached them at churches in other states! (A little bragging there:)) I have watched over the years as the Lord has allowed him to master several instruments, most of which he taught to himself. I am not bragging on me, I am just glad I got to be there. To God be the glory!

That afternoon, July 5, 2009, after he preached, I had to return Jon to Kentucky so he could finish his summer, working at Camp Victory. As I was thinking about all the many blessings over these seventeen years, I turned and smiled at him. He asked, “What?” I just said, “It seems appropriate that on this day, it’s just me and you.” To God be the glory!

Watch Your Step!

I John 2:10 “He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.”

Last week I attended Jr. Camp at Camp Victory, in Somerset, Kentucky. I was privileged to hear several men of God preach. One evening, I listened to the man of God preach to the young people that they needed true repentance in their life if they were to ever have any type of walk with the Lord. He the gave them “Seven Proofs of the Repentant Life.” As I listened to him, and watched him, he paced back and forth across the platform, and I began to notice something. A small rug, that been placed beneath the pulpit for extra cushion kept rolling up in front of him, each time he passed it. He would turn and kick at it a little, so as to flatten it. This was so that he would not trip over it next time he passed that way. However, it seemed each time he passed it, he managed to catch the rug somehow and it would roll or wrinkle up again. Finally, he wearied of it, bent down and fixed the rug completely so that it would lie flat. Furthermore, I noticed, from that time on he kind of “side-stepped” that area or took a taller step so as not to let it happen again.

This was truly an example of this man’s life, for those of us who know him. Though I don’t even know that he ever gave the rug a second thought. This man of God speaks with regret when he talks of his life before he was 21 years of age. However, he was saved back then and has served the Lord faithfully now for 50 plus years. He would be the first to tell you that his life has not been a perfect one, and that he has even stumbled, and fallen a time or two. But today, his testimony is a shining light to those who choose to follow in his footsteps.

Psalm 37:23 says, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD; and he delighteth in his way.”

Though the illustration may seem silly to you, it spoke to me. I have four children whom I love dearly. My heart’s desire is for them to grow up and serve the Lord with their whole heart. I am also a Sunday School teacher, and I love my students very much too. I want to see them serve the Lord, as well. Do I pay close enough attention to the steps I take each day? Do I kick at that wrinkle in life just enough to keep myself from falling down? Or am I the type of person who takes the time to stop and fix the wrinkle completely, remembering even to side-step that “problem area” the next time I have to walk that way so that those who are following me (or watching me) will not trip? How about you? How many people have stumbled over the wrinkles you have left in the rug? According to Evangelist Preston Griffis’ life example, all you have to do is bend down, fix the problem, and walk on. And while we’re there, we might want to help the others who have tripped over the mess we left behind. It’s just a thought.

Isaiah 57:14-15 “…”Cast ye up, cast ye up, prepare the way, take up the stumblingblock out of the way of my people. For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.”

HERE! Taste This!

People are funny. We tend to do some very strange things. For example, when you taste something nasty, do you spit it out and throw it away? No. Most times we will hand it to someone else and say, “This is AWFUL! Here! Taste it.” And when something smells bad, do you leave? Not usually. Most times we’ll say, “OH THAT smells GROSE! Can you smell THAT???” And inevitably the person next to us will begin sniffing and trying to smell it too. WHY do we do that? If it tastes bad, or smells awful, why do want someone else to taste it and smell it to? We are just funny that way. I have even said before, when trying to describe a particular taste, “this tastes like the smell of something.” We call that a “stink-taste.” ☺

By God’s grace, I was born into a Christian home. My parents were saved as teenagers. They did share a few things about their young adult lives with us. Choices they wish they had not made, things they wish they could do over, in other words, they had a few regrets. Not many, praise the Lord, but a few. Thankfully, because of their teaching and training, there are many things that I have never tasted or even smelled! Subsequently, there are actual odors that I do not recognize. See, my parents did not feel that experience was always the best teacher. They never handed us something they knew would be bad for us and said, “Here, taste this or here, smell this!” In fact, they made sure that we knew that there would be severe consequences if we ever did! I can’t tell you what those consequences are because I took them at their word. I am not bragging on myself, I am bragging on my parents. They didn’t lead hard, riotous lives, but what little sin they had dabbled in, taught them enough to know to stay away from it. AND to keep their children from it too! They knew that worldly tastes and smells would leave bitterness in my mouth, or a stench in my nostrils, so they trained me to STAY AWAY from them. Instead they showed me “the way” that I should go. (Pro.22:6) They took me to church where I learned, “O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.” (Ps.34:8) And at thirteen years old, I came to know Christ as Saviour. They read me His Word, and I found out, “How sweet are thy words unto my taste! yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” (Ps.119:103) They showed me by example, “Be ye followers of God, as dear children; and walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour.” (Eph.5:2)

When I left my parents home, as an adult, I had a choice. I could continue in “the way” that they had showed me, or do it “my way.” Proverbs 19:26 says, “He that wasteth his father and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach.” Why would I want to waste my teacher or chase away my trainer? The very thought of it turns my stomach, as if I had eaten something that just didn’t sit right. 

How about you? What are you teaching your children, or those who follow you? Do you offer them those “sweets to the soul?” Or are have they just gotten used to having a certain "stink-taste?"

WHAT IS YOUR ISSUE?

Mark 5:25-34 “And a certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years, And had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse, When she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched his garment. For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole. And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague. And Jesus, immediately knowing in himself that virtue had gone out of him, turned him about in the press, and said, Who touched my clothes? And his disciples said unto him, Thou seest the multitude thronging thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me? And he looked round about to see her that had done this thing. But the woman fearing and trembling, knowing what was done in her, came and fell down before him, and told him all the truth. And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague.”

This woman had an “issue of blood” for twelve years. TWELVE years! I can’t even imagine that. Twelve years of going from doctor to doctor, with a problem of bleeding out, and NO ONE being able to help. The Bible says that she had “suffered many things of many physicians.” She was so desperate for relief that she was willing to try ANYTHING! She had spent all she had and was none the better for it. In fact, she grew worse everyday. Then, she heard about a man who had healed many that were sick of divers diseases, and possessed with devils. How he freed a maniac of the unclean spirit that controlled him. There was even a leper that ran about telling of how this man, Jesus, had healed him of his leprosy! She figured, “I have nothing to lose. Why not see what this man can do for me?” No, quite the contrary was her attitude. This woman was weary of her sickness, and desired greatly to be healed. She was desperate for relief. She was tired of searching for answers, only to walk away the same as when she came. There wasn’t ANYTHING she wanted more than to be rid of her “issue.” She sought Jesus out with a heart that said, “This HAS to work! I’ve heard the stories. He has healed others, please let him heal me!” Determined to find the One who could save her, she made her way through the crowd. At last! There he was! With a beggars heart she reached out to him but was able only to touch the hem of his garment. Relief was IMMEDIATE! As if a burdensome weight had been lifted from off her shoulders, her tired and weary body was…. healed. Not just healed, but whole. She had gone to her only hope for life, --- Jesus, and he had given her his strength, his very virtue! As his eyes met hers, she fell at his feet. With fear and in reverence of his miraculous power, she gave him her heart. No longer just another face in the crowd but “Daughter,” Jesus had called her, “thy faith hath made the whole; go in peace, and be whole of the plague.”

How often have we had an “issue” in our life that seemed never ending? Perhaps you’ve been wounded without cause and yet you cannot seem to release the resentment. Maybe you were injured without provocation and yet you cannot find relief. You’re hurt and heartbroken and the pain is just relentless. Or maybe you have an illness for which there seems to be no remedy. Your life is plagued with turmoil, and sorrow as you search for answers. You’ve tried everything, yet your condition remains the same. Search no further, my friend. Take your “issue” to Jesus. Reach out in faith and let him make you whole. Fall at his feet and find sweet relief. You don’t have to be just another face in the crowd. He will make you His own. 

Matthew 7:7-8 "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For everyone that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened."

Let There Be Light!

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light." (Genesis 1:1-3)

We have officially begun a new year, 2009. It's here! Many people have spent the last few days making "new year's resolutions." It is a common thing that people do. In fact it is a common question that people ask you when the new year begins to draw close, "So what is your new year's resolution?" There is nothing wrong with making them. I have made a few of them myself over the years. Some folks vow to exercise more, and to eat less. Some vow to quit things like drinking, smoking, or abusing drugs. Others vow to watch less television and read more books. Some vow to mend broken relationships, and some vow do more for others.  A child of God might vow to win more souls to Christ, or read through their Bible in a year. The problem is not in the making of the resolution, it's in the keeping of it.  The most common phrase I hear toward the end of a year is, "I'm gonna turn over a new leaf." The problem with that is, a leaf turns over and over with every little breeze that passes by. The thing that keeps most of us from doing what we vow to do, is trying to do it in our own strength. 

My Daddy, Pastor Charles Savage, always says that he loves the beginning of a new year. He says that the new calendar is like a new slate, or one that has been wiped clean so that you can start over. The "new" year does not have to be like the one before it, unless you so choose.  If you are a drunkard, you can stop drinking. If you are a smoker, you can stop smoking. If you are a drug addict, you can stop taking drugs. If you have a problem with bitterness or holding a grudge, you CAN get over it. All you have to do with any problem, as well as any resolution, is turn it over to God. 

Perhaps you feel like your life is like the verse written above. Is your life without form and void? Have you tried everything, and everyone, but found nothing that can fill this void? Maybe you feel as though you are stumbling in the darkness, all alone, and no help can be found. Give yourself a REAL, new beginning this year. Let God shine His Light upon your heart. It is yours for the asking. John 8:12 says, " Then spake Jesus unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." Jesus doesn't want your life to be without form and void. Why not come to the Saviour today, and confess your sins, and receive his Light into your life? Make the best decision you'll ever make in your life, on the first day of 2009.  Let there be light!